Every now and then something punctures my personal narrative of being a giant screw-up. This time, it was being invited back to speak at my alma mater, the University of Mary Washington.

Despite my constant rambling about cartoons, I do have some of the hallmarks of a successful alum—the books, the bylines, and generally having my life together enough to send snail mail holiday cards every year. It’s a far cry from who I was in college. I don’t like the person I was back then. I was unhappy with myself, which made me selfish and cruel to people I cared about.  

Still, curiosity and flattery brought me back. I invited John and two of our college friends to come, and we arrived at the brand new campus building that none of us had ever been in, where I would be presenting on an alumni panel. At 29, I was the oldest alum there, from the class of 2009. It’s been 11 years since I moved into my freshman dorm. This was before that dorm had air conditioning! Believe me when I say that my college was founded in 1908 and looked like it for a long time. Now they have technology-forward buildings that remind me of the Apple Store and the dining hall, which used to give me heartburn, now serves quinoa.

The curriculum has also jolted into the future. Before I spoke, we listened to a panel of current UMW students who are taking advantage of a new program at the university called A Domain of One’s Own. Students can have their own dot coms without paying a cent, so the panel was about them showcasing their blogs and portfolio sites. The older students were using while job hunting and building online identities, which I thought was fantastically ahead of the curve. I wonder if having a program like that would have grounded me and helped me think more about my future instead of floundering around sort of depressed.

It’s certainly true today that my online identity is the entire reason I’m able to find work at all, which is also why i was invited to speak on this panel. The moderator sent us all the questions in advance, and being the introvert I am I decided to write them up so I wouldn’t trip over my words when I was on stage. I wanted to share my answers with you because this is exactly the kind of advice I’d love to give to aspiring otaku journalists just starting out.

This is a pretty long post for me, but the TL;DR version is that social media has blurred the line between professional and inappropriate. As a freelancer, every day is an interview while I look for potential new writing and web development gigs. Here’s how I make my extremely geeky online presence an advantage, not a hindrance, while I do that.

1. What is your most prominent digital identity?

Twitter. It started as a hobby, but now I have nearly 6,000 followers. I use it to broadcast my articles, blog posts, and web design projects, along with anything my friends are working on that I’d like to amplify. I recently lost access to my Twitter account due to a technical issue, and the most helpless feeling was knowing that usually if I want to access my audience to let them know I need help/amplification in some way, I tweet them.

a. Is it your website or your social media account ( e.g. LinkedIn, Twitter) why or why not?

In a perfect world, my blog would be my primary online identity, but there’s an extra wrinkle with blogs—you have to tell your audience to meet you halfway. With social media, you are showing up on your audience’s doorstep, where they already are.

1. Do you have different accounts for different audiences/purposes? 

I used to. Ever since I was at UMW, I’ve been interested in Japanese anime to the point where it’s a major part of my identity that influences which jobs I take. When I was less experienced in my field, I tried to maintain a more neutral online presence to keep from scaring off potential employers. Now, I’d rather work for employers who hire me because of my interests. I recently designed a website for a Japanese pop culture company. I have been hired to write about Japanese videogames and comics specifically. So I make sure that’s on my calling card.

2. What decisions did you make when creating or tailoring your personal websites or your different social media accounts?

Control is very important to me online. With social media, you’re in somebody else’s walled garden that can be altered or deleted at any time. So I’ve always paid for hosting and domain names and coded my own websites.

3. Did you have these digital identities as a student at UMW? Or did you begin to create them, or start thinking about creating them while at UMW?

Yes! I was required to have a WordPress site for several of my classes at UMW, so I began getting really familiar with the software back then. My professors encouraged my coding customization, and that’s probably one of the reasons I work as a WordPress developer today.

4. Have you deleted any accounts? If so, which and why?

Never. Since I work as a freelance technology journalist, it’s important for me to first, be reachable in a number of ways and second, be fluent. I am a little old for Snapchat, but I made myself download it and learn to use it because I want to be capable of communicating online no matter which way comes in vogue next. As a developer, I risk obsolescence if I am not constantly learning new technologies and updating my skills. I feel the same way about Internet and computer literacy.

5. Have you had to navigate any delicate situations and if so, would you be willing to share your story?

Where to start? Since I have written a lot about video games and I happen to be a woman, I am a grizzled veteran of getting insulted online. It started with my first online media internship at Kotaku, a former Gawker subsidiary, after I graduated here. I’ve been called fat, ugly, stupid, a hack, a fraud, needs a nose job, people have dug up my former address and other personal information. When I became a journalist who writes online, I gave up my right to privacy.

When this happens, there’s no way to win. You defend yourself by going dark, by refusing to engage, by continuing to produce content as if it doesn’t bother you at all.

To this day, I do not post photos of my friends online. I run an online business with my husband, and we cut off all photos above the neck. I’m also careful not to discuss future plans. I know I endanger myself, at least a little, by making myself visible online and I try very hard to make sure that my decisions don’t negatively impact my family and friends.

6. What role, if any, do you think your digital identity played into your post-undergrad life?

Listen, I wouldn’t have a job if it weren’t for Twitter. I was working retail before I got my first web development job—because my future employer liked my blog design. After that I got into online journalism because my editor sent me a tweet asking if I’d like to work for him. I get 75% of my clients through online connections—the rest is through friends of friends.

a. Did you promote them when applying for grad school or jobs?

I’ve always had something digital on my resume. For tech jobs it’s my GitHub profile and for writing jobs it’s my blog and portfolio.

b. Did any of your admissions counselors or employers comment on your online presence?

Absolutely. I feel bad for everyone else named Lauren Orsini because I dominate the Google results. It’s hard to miss, and it always comes up in interviews.

7. What advice would you give current undergraduate students in regards to cultivating a digital identity?

Start general, go niche. Become known for a few specific topics or categories. It takes a long time to get to know a person, so online, you need to become an abbreviation of yourself. Think of your website as your elevator pitch. If somebody can’t figure out what you’re about and why this site exists within five minutes, you’ve already lost them.

a. What must they do?

Have an internet presence outside of Facebook or LinkedIn, which are at the mercy of corporations. Have a personal blog or website you have total control of, and do your best to make it come up as the first result when somebody googles your name and expertise.

b. What shouldn’t they

Remember that people are watching. Don’t have tantrums about your employer on Twitter. Don’t burn bridges. Even in 2016, there are certain things professionals don’t do. Take it from me. I write about cartoons for Forbes, but I still conduct myself like somebody who is constantly interviewing for my next job.